A New Vision of Our Family

I can't believe it's been a year since we started this process -- how time flies!  When we first started on this journey to China, we thought we wanted a baby, boy or girl, as young as possible.  We wanted to experience as much of parenthood we possibly could and had heard it's best to get the youngest child in the hopes of  minimizing the effects of life in an orphanage.  And who doesn't love a baby!  As we've made our way through the paper chase, the home study, getting logged in with China and now in the Waiting Child program, the "idea" of what our family will look like has evolved a bit.

As we followed along with families adopting children and started to review files, it became more about the actual child who was right for us and less about a child that fit a specific "profile".  We found ourselves drawn to toddlers and school-aged children.  We are both in our late thirties and most of our friends have children who are toddlers and school-aged.  And if we had a child when we first started trying to have a baby we would have a five year old now.  We have spent plenty of time with our nephews and niece and babies of friends, so we don't feel like we will be missing out on all the "baby stuff".  We thought a child we could take with us everywhere and we could cook with and garden with be a great fit for our family.

I participate in several forums for families who have adopted and/or waiting to adopt from China.  Many families share their stories and experiences, as well as provide support and advice.  I started following families who had brought home children who are a bit older than the norm -- older in the adoption world is considered older than three.  From what I have seen and heard from these families is these children do amazingly well in adapting to their new life.  Because they are a bit older, they are better able to understand that a family will be coming to get them and take them home and the orphanages and foster families do a pretty good job of preparing these kiddos for this transition.  You can also send care packages to them while you are waiting with photos of the family, pets, house, their room and include clothes, blankets, toys and treats.  We know it won't be an easy transition, but we don't think we have to adopt an infant so it will be easier.

Looking at files of different children of all different ages led to a conversation with our WC coordinator about the child we wish to find and what needs we would be comfortable with and amazingly, we have found it has changed quite a bit.  We are now hoping to find a little girl who is three to five years old who tugs at our heart and gives us that feeling of "knowing" she is meant to be our girl.